Famous Umbargers 4

Famous Umbargers 3

Macaca Es Su Caca 2

Famous Umbargers 2

Famous Umbargers

The Wisdom of Bush 42

The Wisdom of Bush 41

The Wisdom of Bush 40

The Wisdom of Bush 39

Turtlehead Bay!

The Wisdom of Bush 38

The Wisdom of Bush 37

The Wisdom of Bush 36

Rejected Reality TV Musicians

The Wisdom of Bush 35

PWNED

The undeniable flavor of a two-week-old M&M.



Previously: Rachel Rat's 30-Second Sabotage

The Wisdom of Bush 34

The Wisdom of Bush 33

You've Been Reading My Blog

You've Been Reading My Blog

My 9/11

I've been a receptionist for over two months. The Paxil kicked in about a week ago, I take it every morning with a cream cheese and jelly bagel, banana and OJ. I feel so good I've even started exercising. Just a bunch of sit-ups and push-ups in the morning before I spend my day in Soho answering phones. I've got 1010 WINS on while I sweat on the hardwood floor. I hear a dumptruck hit a brick wall out on Delancey St., but the radio soon informs me this wasn't no dumptruck. I flip on the TV and see what you see. Emilie works on Broadway too and I want her to hurry up her morning routine so we can walk and gawk. Besides, she's the photographer. This is what I do with a camera:



At Broadway I head north and Emilie heads south. Despite the morning's events I still need my cream cheese and jelly bagel. I walk out of the deli with my breakfast as the first tower falls twenty blocks away. Out of psychotic fear I run up eleven floors- I'm not eating my bagel trapped in an elevator. Following a blur of phone-calling, television and e-mail I make my way to the roof of my office to watch the second tower fall. Someone I don't know decides to start smoking again, and I happily oblige the cigarette. I also manage to work the camera:



Life on Ludlow is on lockdown for the next week. No subways. No traffic coming off the Billyburg Bridge. ID checkpoints at Houston. Downtown is a ghost town. Absolute New York City silence while I sleep.

Every time a plane flies overhead now, I have to look. I have to. I still live here.

The Wisdom of Bush 32

The Wisdom of Bush 31

The Wisdom of Bush 30

The Wisdom of Bush 29

The Wisdom of Bush 28

More Ironic Animal Tragedies